DEAR DEIDRE: ON a break from my husband I had sex with a younger guy.
We’re back together now and I want my marriage to work but I’m obsessed with the other man.
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My husband and I have three children aged four, eight and 11.
Towards the end of last year I felt really down.
I was about to turn 30 and I felt I had lost sight of myself in being a wife and mother.
I told my husband I had fallen out of love with him and he went back to his mum’s.
She loves her grandchildren and had the kids round as often as he and they wanted.
I felt I could breathe again.
My girlfriends rallied round and I started going out with them on Fridays and Saturdays while the children stayed at their gran’s.
I could let my hair down and felt as if I was coming into my own.
As a teenager I was shy and met my husband when I was only 18 and he was 20.
One night when I was out with the girls, we ran into the guys from our local garage who were out celebrating the 21st birthday of one of them.
He is very good-looking and a lot of fun, and kept insisting he couldn’t believe I was any older than him.
I floated home because he’d made me feel so good about myself.
By coincidence a headlight bulb went on my car the next week so I took it to the garage.
The boss sent the young guy to sort it for me which gave us a chance to chat and we agreed to meet for a drink the next night.
I made sure the kids were with their dad so I could invite him back to mine afterwards.
I explained that I was just after a bit of fun and he was happy with that.
The sex was great.
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He’s a bit inexperienced but very enthusiastic and made me feel young again.
Then one day he just finished it with no explanation.
My friend heard the guys at the garage had been teasing him.
Then lockdown arrived and my husband suggested we try again.
In fact it has been fine but I can’t stop thinking about the boy from the garage.
He’s on my mind all day and I dream about him at night.
My husband knows about my fling but says we weren’t together — and I suspect he saw an old girlfriend of his — but I just want my lover out of my head.
DEIDRE SAYS: Think what this young man represents for you – youth, laughs, eager sex, feeling carefree – and look to get more of those qualities into your life now.
Don’t let marriage and motherhood feel like a trap again.
Tell your husband you both need to put imagination and energy into making your relationship feel fresh.
Can the kids go round to their gran’s at least one night a week so you and your husband can enjoy some quality time?
You can walk and talk – and my e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add To Sex can help, too.
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