Shirley Ballas was left devastated when her older brother, David, took his own life 20 years ago at the age of 44. David struggled with depression and was “in a terrible place” prior to his death.
Shirley, 63, and her mother Audrey tried to help him, with Audrey going to stay with him and trying to take him to the hospital.
Opening up about his final days, the Strictly Come Dancing judge told us: “One incident in particular which stands out was when [my mum] took him to the hospital, they pulled up and he knew somebody who was standing on the step. He made us turn the car around and he wouldn’t go back.
“Then they gave him these tablets to take. After he died, I read the small print and it said they may escalate feelings of suicide, which it did.”
One day, Audrey left David at home while she went to watch Shirley’s son, Mark Ballas, in a show in London. “That one day…that’s when he took his own life,” Shirley added.
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“When David died, I still remember I’d let my son stay out for the first time ever. The door went at 6am and me and mum came down the stairs. The police came in and they said, ‘Mrs Rich’, and I stepped aside and mum moved forward, it was her son.
“That will forever be etched in my mind and I think from that day to this I’ve realised material things mean nothing… nothing is more important than your loved ones, I’d rather live in a box and have my brother with me.”
Shirley added that she has also struggled with her mental health and realised it runs in her family.
In a bid to make a change, the dancer embarked on a trio of challenges to raise money for suicide prevention charity CALM.
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Last month, she did a Skyathlon challenge involving a zipline, a 700ft wing walk and a 15,000ft skydive, all in the space of one week.
She said that even though she is petrified of heights, she was “more terrified at the thought of losing another person to suicide”.
She said: “I’ve had low times with depression, it runs through our family, and people pat you on the shoulder and go, ‘Oh you’re strong, you’ll be fine’, and that’s what I tended to do with my brother 20 years ago.
“If I’d had CALM, my brother, this gorgeous human, would still be alive. I’m convinced of it, 100 percent.
“18 people in the UK take their own life every day and 75 percent of those suicides are men. The CALM helpline answers a call for help every 59 seconds and also CALM runs a free and anonymous helpline and webchat service from 5pm to midnight 365 days of the year. They will intervene if you feel so low that you need somebody, they will help you or they can just be a listening ear.
“CALM really just want people to see tomorrow and show that things can change, so that’s why I’m doing it.”
You can still donate to Shirley’s Skyathlon here: https://www.justgiving.com/
If you or someone you know has been affected by this story, Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year.
Alternatively, you can find more information on the Samaritans website: https://www.samaritans.org/
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