DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my wife went into a nursing home, I’ve not had a proper night’s sleep.
She had a stroke three years ago and I looked after her for as long as I could. She is 68 and I’m 71.
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It was a painful decision to put her into full-time care but I couldn’t give her what she needed. My daughters thought being her carer was too much for me.
We’ve been married for 40 years and I visit every day but sometimes she doesn’t even wake up. Now I can’t sleep more than a couple of hours at a time, leaving me dozy and off-colour all day.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have had a tough time and maybe you feel torn that you can’t still look after her yourself.
You have shown your love by giving her the best care you can. But you must also feel like you are losing her through the effects of the stroke. You can find understanding support through the Stroke Association (stroke.org.uk, helpline 0303 3033 100).
Visit her when you can but build up an independent life too. My e-leaflet Fifty Plus has ideas of local organisations and Sleep Problems? can help you break this pattern.
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